Landmarks
A friend recently sent me this photo of a painting I did when I was a student at Ringling College of Art & Design under the legendary Tom Allen. It was a landmark piece for me, not because it was anything great, but because it was the first piece I did after having a bit of a spiritual breakthrough. I had just transferred to Ringling, my dad had just passed away a couple of months prior, and it was my first time living 1000 miles away from home. I was having severe panic attacks and questioning whether art was really a worthy vocation for a "man after God's own heart," which is what I ultimately want to be. (I mean, shouldn't I be out there on the mission field or behind a pulpit somewhere? How am I going to make any difference for God in this world by painting pretty pictures?) I couldn't concentrate on my work and knew I wasn't producing at a level worthy of the scholarship I was given. I felt like I was failing. Finally, I had pretty much made the decision in my mind that I was going to drop out, head back to Jersey, and start from scratch.
God’s Plan & His Timing
One night I sat on the edge of Sarasota Bay and talked it out with God. When I was about to leave, a man walked up to the bench I was sitting on and said to me, "Excuse me. I noticed you were reading your Bible. I've been wanting to start a relationship with God but don't really know where to start." I was dumbfounded. It's almost like God was saying to me at that moment, "I'm able to work through you however and wherever I want to." After I talked to the guy for a while about the way to a relationship with God (through Jesus), I went back to my apartment on campus and, out of the blue, got a phone call from my friend Darin, who knew nothing about what I was going through at the time. I knew Darin from my other art school in PA, but he had dropped out to follow in his dad's footsteps as a pastor. We caught up a bit, and then he told me that he felt he had made a mistake and that he was leaving the ministry to continue pursuing his gift in art. I knew that night that God was telling me to stay put. All doubt was gone. The fear and shackles were gone. (To this day, you can't convince me that this was all coincidence.) I dove into my work, and this painting (below) is what I was starting on at the time. (The assignment was to design a poster for the Ringling Circus Museum.) Shortly after creating this painting, I was named Best Junior Illustrator (nominated by Professor Allen, who was department chair at the time), and the piece was accepted into the Best of Ringling annual show.
Art As a Memorial
One of the beautiful things about the art we make is that it often serves as a memorial of what the Lord was doing in our lives at the time we created it. After reflecting on this particular piece, I began to discover that I have many landmark pieces that mean more to me than I realized. With the eyes of the Spirit, the body of work we produce through the years can be much more than just a "portfolio," but much like the altars of remembrance that the saints of old would build to memorialize a great work of God, they can become a sort of visual journal that we can go back to and reflect on the journey we've walked, and the faithfulness of our Creator as He's walked with us.
He is indeed faithful!
